This image was taken by me in 2007, at the bottom of a mountain in Switzerland. The female is my friend Cathy, and the men were 2 out of a group of 19 people that we were doing a motorcycle tour with. Every time I look at this picture, I relive the intense emotions I went through that day. Emotions that helped make me the fiercely independent adventurer that I am today.

Cathy and I were going on a motorcycle tour through the Swiss Alps of Europe in 2007. We were acquaintances from work and mutual friends, and after talking at a party one night, we decided to ride motorcycles through another country, for fun! This trip consisted of us flying to Europe, picking up motorcycles, and riding through Germany, Austria, Liechtenstein, Switzerland and Italy along the Alps mountain ranges, which stretched through all of these countries. Cathy and I both had some experience riding, but I considered myself a fair-weather rider. Meaning I had never ridden in rain or snow before. I have never even driven a car in snow! The trip started off pleasant for us both. There happened to be a heat wave in Europe at the time, so the weather was great, and we personally had no riding mishaps. Most days we would ride with others from the group, but on this day we had decided to forage on alone, armed with just a couple of road maps, and no knowledge of negotiating foreign road systems on our own.

This particularly fated day started out fine. The weather was a little cooler than normal, but not alarming to us. We progressed our elevation up a mountain pass, and soon arrived in fog. Several miles later, the fog became dense. Other traffic seemed to fade away the higher up the mountain we got. Then, quite suddenly, the fog had coagulated so much that I could not see my front tire. It was so thick it even blocked out light from the sky, and cast us into an eerie dim world.

Here is where I got uncomfortable. I am riding in the front, but cannot see Cathy, whom I know is riding on my tail! Our helmet visors were dripping and fogging up, making the visibility narrow. The roadway is slippery wet, and I cannot define where the edge of the road is, as the fog is that thick. I slow my speed down to ‘barely crawling’, which on a motorcycle, means I’m almost too slow for first gear, and in danger of stalling out. In addition to all this, we are also in danger of running into cows, as in this country, livestock is allowed to roam free, even across roadways.

My heart is racing now, and my grip on the handlebar is so tight I get cramps in my arms. My eyes are simultaneously huge with fear, and stinging from the cold damp. This continues for miles and miles. We have to go up and down a mountain pass to get to our destination for the night, so turning around was not an option for us.

The weather was also getting colder and wetter, and when it started raining, I was not prepared. I had a protective riding jacket and pants on, but it wasn’t designed for near freezing temperatures. The sweat from my fear and nervousness was getting chilled, and causing me to shake.

I began to question my sanity in going on such a trip, and asking myself why I didn’t just go somewhere safe, like Hawaii or Mexico. Being a non-believer in Jesus or Christ, I started talking to myself, promising that if I made it through this mountain pass without crashing, I would go to church every sunday. I wonder why people think such things when the going gets tough? I’m sure someone, somewhere, has made good on that promise, but deep down inside the blackest little part of my heart, I knew I really wouldn’t keep that promise. I guess talking to myself kept me from stopping on the side of the road, and just giving up.

A little longer up the road, the rain turned to snow. I didn’t even recognize it as snow at first. It was very light, with a misty like quality. Soon, though, I began to see what it was when I noticed it starting to make small clumps on the road. Then large piles. I’d never driven in snow before, and I was momentarily almost smitten by the beauty of it! It was pure white, it’s own entity. It muffled the sounds of the cow bells around us. Right there, in my wonderous stupidity, I put myself back into a panic thinking that I had no idea how to drive in snow! The fear got it’s grip back on me, and my whole body clenched up.

Eventually, though, the incline leveled out, and we began to descend down the other side. The weather was exactly the same. After passing through the snow elevation, we ran into the rain, and then back into the fog.

Riding in the fog, I heard a vehicle behind us, and I was suddenly passed by two other motorcyclists! I believe they must have noticed my distress, because they didn’t pass by out of view, but stayed riding with Cathy and I to the bottom of the mountain. Cathy! I hadn’t even given her a second thought during that whole trip, and a quick look in the mirror showed her still behind me.

The first chance we got, all four of us stopped, and I found out the two riders were guys that I was riding in the tour with. I was never so happy to see other humans in my entire life. Cathy must have been feeling the same way, because we both hugged the guys and hung on to them for a while, talking ourselves back to a calm state of mind, trying to tell them how scared we were. Eventually the hysteria turned into happiness that it was all over.

The emotional experience took me by surprise way more than the physical experience did. I’ve had other emotional times; sadness, anger, shock. But these feelings took me outside my comfort zone. I’d never felt such raw fear before. My life has been very protected, living in the United States. I was born with the ability to choose my comfort, and the assumption that the comfort would follow me, and protect me, in a way, wherever I went. Cathy and I talked about it, and came to the conclusion, that after all was said and done, there could have been a lot worse things to happen to us in our lives. Like being born in a country that doesn’t allow women to travel! It was ok for us to be scared, we weren’t out to prove anything.

Remembering this helped me with future travels. I don’t turn down any ideas of places to visit, or things to do. I don’t turn down the opportunity to communicate with strangers. I don’t turn down foreign food. And if something bad happens, the first thing in my mind is ‘It could be a lot worse.’